In this fast-paced world, we often find ourselves striving to meet certain standards and expectations imposed by society. For some reason, we believe that we must conform to a predefined mould to be accepted and validated. Consequently, we lose touch with our true selves. We forget that we are enough just as we are. It’s time to break free from these self-imposed constraints and embrace the beauty of our individuality. Let’s explore the concept of “I am enough” and why it is essential to embrace the human experience without constraints.
At some point in our lives, we’ve all felt the pressure to be someone we’re not. Whether it’s trying to fit into a specific social group or pursuing a career path that doesn’t resonate with our true passions. We often sacrifice our authenticity for societal acceptance. However, the truth is that each of us possesses unique talents, dreams, and perspectives. Embracing our authenticity empowers us to celebrate our differences and appreciate the diversity that enriches the human experience.
What You Resist Persists
I’m not so good with rules or fitting into boxes really. I’ve dug really deep, and continue to do so, so I’ve realised that this is part of who I am. However, I still regularly catch myself stuck in my head, trying to figure things out when I know very well that’s not where the answers are.
I have spent most of my life learning more about how I tick and subsequently learning about human behaviour and all the intricacies of being human.
Resisting these behaviours and feelings never works though. As Carl Jung said, ‘… what you resist not only persists but grows in size.’
However, just as I think I’m doing well, I realise my shoulders are scrunched up and loud noises seem to rattle me a little more than usual. So, for me at the moment, it is once again going back to ‘I am Enough’. Regardless if you think so or not. Whether the clean washing has been lying on the couch since Monda,y or there are spiderwebs at the front door. I am still enough.
I am Enough. You are Enough
I have been especially drawn to this affirmation. It was a few years ago that I came across the #IAmEnough campaign. Coinciding with my introduction to Marisa Peer, of course. It was, and still is, such a powerful concept. It carries across all our roles. Whether as a parent, business owner, employee, freelancer, wife, girlfriend, husband, partner… Whichever role or name you want to call it. There seems to be this constant nagging in the back of your mind.
It has such a feeling of release attached to it. I…. AM….. Enough. I sometimes just stop and breathe it in when I feel anxious and lacking.
Feeling that you are enough seems to be something that doesn’t come easily to even the most amazing people. The term ‘imposter syndrome’ seems to relate to this quite well. However, I think it’s also very closely related to the feeling that you provide value. I’ve been picking it up in so many situations and places. How many fewer mental health issues wouldn’t there be if we all believed ‘I am enough’ and/or “I am of value”?
Perfection is an illusion that only leads to self-doubt and anxiety. We must let go of the idea that we need to have it all together to be worthy. No one is flawless, and embracing our imperfections is the key to growth and self-acceptance. Remember, it is through our struggles that we learn, evolve, and become stronger individuals.
One of my favourite Jim Carrey quotes (there are loads!) will always be:
“I wish everyone could get rich and famous and have everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that’s not the answer.”Jim Carrey
Does your education, employment status, income, family status, relationship status or what you look like really determine your worth/competence at this life thing? Is it maybe not more important to find where you feel at home in your own skin, not relying on outside influences? Things like ‘when I have my own home”, “when I own my dream car”, “when I find my deserted beach to live on”…. then I’ll be happy.
The video below just explains it so beautifully. He mentions how when ‘fear runs the script’, ‘the working title is I’ll never be enough’. This is it, though, isn’t it? A little bit of a vicious circle that can only be broken by way of ingraining this concept that I am Enough, even in a stationary position.
However, I think it’s also important to note that my perception of other people’s views of me shapes my behaviour. It shapes the version of me that shows up. Therefore, if I eliminate the notion that I might know what your perception of me is, I could create the ideal me.
OR
By creating my ideal perception of myself, I could ‘show up’ as that person and in so doing become that person. Thereby creating my own (ideal) environment.
Finding the Value
Often this means you have to avoid or distance yourself from people and places that don’t support your vision of who you strive to be. I listened to an interview the other day. I have no idea who she was or why she was being interviewed. She had an Australian accent, I think. She was telling the interviewer about her journey. After seeing someone being killed in a car accident (I might have the details wrong) at the age of 7/8, she was curious as to what would happen to this person and became interested in working in a funeral home.
Long story short, life didn’t go as planned, and as a very young mother, she one day walked past a funeral home and remembered this dream. The most important part of the story was, however, that only once she cut out all the people telling her how useless she was could she reach her potential. I wish I could find this interview again or who it was as I kind of accidentally watched a bit of it scrolling through Facebook.
A few years ago I read the book Add Value by Mark Carter. It all fits into the view of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Are your goals attached to extrinsic values (money, status, image) or intrinsic (more towards being than having). I propose that a world built on intrinsic motivation would help us in our quest to both find value and believe the ‘I am enough’ narrative.
