We all have people in our lives who rub us the wrong way. Maybe it’s a critical parent, a controlling boss, or a jealous friend. When faced with unpleasant behaviours from others, it’s common to feel “I don’t want to be like them.” This judgement creates an energy-draining pattern of avoidance. The energy drain of avoidance.
Avoidance takes many exhausting forms – from dodging phone calls to walking on eggshells in certain relationships. We pour huge amounts of effort into preventing discomfort, only to feel resentment build. Every time we mentally blacklist someone as “impossible,” we divert focus from our own goals.
This strained avoidance limits our self-expression. We hide parts of ourselves to stay comfortable and liked. We may even avoid pursuing promising opportunities if it means contact with those who irk us. There is always a cost that comes from conflict avoidance. Most of all, we lose our sense of unconditional self-acceptance.
The phrase “I don’t want to be like them” reveals a major avoidance tripwire – the fear of seeing our own flaws reflected back at us. We all have room for growth, but by refusing to acknowledge our weak spots, we stay stuck in illusion. Avoidance only worsens the behaviours we deplore in others.
The way beyond this energy trap is to neutralize judgment with curiosity and honesty. The next time you feel that knee-jerk “I don’t want to be like them,” consider looking inward. Ask yourself “What behaviours of mine may have contributed to this situation?” Consider that the other person’s motives arise from their own insecurities and trials. This diffuses blame and makes constructive action possible.
Releasing Avoidance with Time Sweep
The Time Sweep process allows us to dismantle old avoidance patterns from a place of self-responsibility. Instead of rejecting traits in others, we can use Time Sweep to
uncover where we have exhibited those same traits. This self-reflection from a place of compassion is profoundly freeing.
By taking responsibility for our behaviours, we find the power to change them. Time Sweep helps us become more understanding, less reactive people. We still establish boundaries with difficult people. But we do so from a place of honesty rather than judgment. This prevents avoidance patterns from taking root by highlighting how we always have room to grow. Self-acceptance and self-responsibility are two sides of the same coin.
Time Sweep perfectly balances both.
About Time Sweeps Co-founder and Author, Richard Morden
Richard Morden stands at the forefront of emotional coaching, certified in both EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Richard has his own coaching practice, Quantum Approach and co-founded Time Sweeps with Wendy Ratel.
Trained by notable mentors, including Nancy Forrester. Richard excels in facilitating deep emotional healing and empowerment. His extensive experience, marked by a 30-year tenure at Honda of Canada Manufacturing, enriches his coaching with insights into teamwork, leadership, and organisational well-being.
Beyond his professional accomplishments, Richard is a lifelong learner and innovator, deeply empathetic and committed to creating safe, supportive environments. His work focuses on guiding individuals through personal and professional transitions, leveraging emotional intelligence to foster understanding, resilience, and growth. Richard’s approach integrates practical strategies with an understanding of human behaviour, aiming to resolve emotional blocks and enhance communication. As he introduces ‘Time Sweep,’ his latest model for emotional liberation, Richard continues to impact lives, advocating for a future where emotional wellness is accessible to all. In essence, Richard Morden is not just a coach but a visionary in emotional and professional development, dedicated to transforming lives through empathy, education, and empowerment.
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